3D2N s55 chalet just ended. n am now super tired. but happy and mind full of thoughts. so much that its difficult to organise them orderly. sights fading. feeling sleepy , dissapointed with myself, confused, resigned, the warrior within.
在那里说得那么多话，我绝对没有说谎。却还有些隐瞒。想了许多，许多。
未来？
明天不知如何。 haiz....
now tt i am without H3 or anything cept for mayb i comp n the lion dance thingy. mayb. dunno what's gonna happen to me. thinking back feel very afraid of the future, and at the same time dissapointed with myself. yet at the same time feel that i have tried my best. Have i? haiz. dunno. now my scholarship chances are almost zero. and i thought JC will not be this tough. sad life sia. what's gonna happen to me in the future. suddenly think of that que sera sera song. Will i be handsome, will i be rich?... den thought of the second part. whatever will be will be.. will it? Is life predestined? Will i control life？ or will life control me? I would chose the first. but will i be predestined to have a predestined life?
Firstly, as i said, i had a bad start to the year. 命 controlled much of this. NZ. but i also had a say. what if i joined choir? what if i tried for house comm, SC, CT or such things? I would not say i have tried my best. in fact. i am dissapointed with myself. utterly dissapointed. yet until now, i had always blamed it on NZ and the resultant lost of chances and opportunities. but can i? no. i can't. only myself to blame. what if i never went NZ? i may have not been able to continue in VJ at all. partial 9 means i may be in TJ at this time. and will i be good there?..... Acceptance. all this is now the past. regrets they will remain. but now i will look to the future. Now i will try to control life. Life has controlled me for nearly 17 years now. Its time for change. but can i? i seriously don't know, but i will try. But will i? I will try to try.
Second thoughts. am i really that bad? do i really need scholarship? Is there no place for me? compared to the entire singapore cohort. i am still near the top. but this is mere 阿Q. scholarships. do i really need them. my family isnt very rich. financial pressure will come with failure to get scholarship. suddenly think another thing. what am i gonna take in Uni? seriously. I don't know. now feel that i am not the worst. but not the champion i wanna be.
thirdly. also reflected on my character. lies. cheating. foul language. all this are damn bad now i see them. will strive to change. although i am not sure if i will change the above 2 things mentioned due to my lazyness and my tendency to forget such things after a while, but esp this point i will strive to change.
lol. on a brighter note. really enjoyed the chalet. event of the chalet: The Diego punishment. Moral of the story: 害人害己. lolz. it was fun though. lolz
went vivo with reub, zhou n joko juz now. watched casino royale. qutie nice. lolz. actually is damn nice. n vivo is really super big sia.
lolz. nth much.. in kinda sad mood currently. feel as though thousand kg of stone is resting on me right now. but having write it out and sorting my thoughts in the process feel that this has relieved a little. but its still there. lolz
till nxt time..
THE CLARET AND BLUE
DIEGO
THE CHAMPION
Wong. Diego Wong
11/12
17
Coral Pri, Anglican High,Victoria JC, Jedi Academy
wong.vieri32@gmail.com
GOALS
#1Play in World cup group stage
#2play in world cup round of 16
#3play in world cup quarter finals
#4play in world cup semi finals
#5play in world cup finals
#6win the world cup
#7Own a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder
#8 RULE THE WORLD
